On the Human Person

The second aspect of love according to what Vanier has learned living in L’Arche communities, is the call to understand. The world often seems saturated with judgment and seriously lacking in understanding. What’s worse is that so many are disinterested in understanding. Understanding takes effort. It takes intentionality.

For example, if someone acts out, is angry or violent, do we attempt to trace these outbursts to their source, perhaps to the wound that lies behind it? It is not about excusing behavior but rather understanding the person. There is no way to compassion that does not go through understanding, that is, using our imagination and open-heartedness to stand under what it would be like to be in another person’s shoes.

Related to the above, the third aspect of love is to communicate. Vanier writes, “Communication is at the heart of love. . . . When nothing is named, confusion grows and with it comes anguish. To name something is to bring it out of chaos, out of confusion, and to render it understandable. . . . I have learned that the process of teaching and learning, of communication, involves movement, back and forth: the one who is healed and the one who is healing constantly change places.”

PRACTICE:

When you feel yourself begin to judge someone, catch yourself, stop, pause, then change places with that person.