Given that human life is given, not a given; given that our very existence begins with biological dependency and connection; given that no human is born as an automoton pre-programmed to express gratefulness, it stands to reason that, like kindness, compassion, love, and other beneficent human behaviors and actions, gratefulness is a choice. In the epilogue of her award-winning book Gratefulness: The Transformative Power of Giving author, speaker, and independent scholar, Diana Butler Bass, gives us a fresh angle on gratefulness in the form of a Thanksgiving Prayer.

In the prayer, she exposes the danger of reducing gratefulness to a feeling, which like the weather, can change from day to day. So instead of viewing thanks as something we give or offer, she encourages us, first, to see it as something we choose. This simple substitution of one verb for another verb that is routinely associated with thanks makes clear that, in actuality, genuine gratitude begins as a conscious, intentional decision to act. It is a volitional practice that we choose regardless of the weather outside or in our soul, despite our mood that day or our feelings, current life circumstances, or unknown outcomes and an unforeseen future.

We choose to give thanks. We choose to be full of gratis. We choose to express gratefulness. The days of our lives present opportunities and continual invitations for thanks choosing and what better time of year to begin or continue an intentional practice of thanks choosing than on the last Thursday of November when Americans mark a day to be especially mindful of that for which we are grateful. Among all the increasingly predictable hullabaloo that has come close to overtaking this day, let us remember tomorrow we are not celebrating Turkey Day or Football Day or Black Friday Eve or Keeping the Family Peace Against All Odds Day. It is a day of choosing to be grateful, not for one day a year, but as a reminder of our privilege and promise to participate daily in the practice that defines what it means to be human. For as Julian of Norwich wrote, “Thanking is a true understanding of who we really are” — in relation to the Source and Giver of all life as well as to each and all members of the community of creation who with us form a circle of gratitude.

Whether you are alone or gathered around a table with others this Thanksgiving, you might consider choosing Butler Bass’ prayer for your grace before or after the meal.

A THANKSGIVING PRAYER
by Diana Butler Bass

God, there are days we do not feel grateful. When we are anxious or angry. When we feel alone. When we do not understand what is happening in the world or with our neighbors. When the news is bleak, confusing. God, we struggle to feel grateful.

But this Thanksgiving, we choose gratitude.

We choose to accept life as a gift from you, and as a gift from the unfolding work of all creation.

We choose to be grateful for the earth from which our food comes; for the water that gives life; and for the air we all breathe.

We choose to thank our ancestors, those who came before us, grateful for their stories and struggles, and we receive their wisdom as a continuing gift for today.

We choose to see our families and friends with new eyes, appreciating and accepting them for who they are. We are thankful for our homes, whether humble or grand.

We will be grateful for our neighbors, no matter how they voted, whatever our differences, or how much we feel hurt or misunderstood by them.

We choose to see the whole planet as our shared commons, the stage of the future of humankind and creation.

God, this Thanksgiving, we do not give thanks. We choose it. We will make this choice of thanks with courageous hearts, knowing that it is humbling to say “thank you.” We choose to see your sacred generosity, aware that we live in an infinite circle of gratitude. That we all are guests at a hospitable table around which gifts are passed and received. We will not let anything opposed to love take over this table. Instead, we choose grace, free and unmerited love, the giftedness of life everywhere. In this choosing, and in the making, we will pass gratitude onto the world.

Thus, with you, and with all those gathered at this table, we pledge to make thanks. We ask you to strengthen us in this resolve. Here, now, and into the future. Around our family table. Around the table of our nation. Around the table of the earth.

We choose thanks.

Amen.

~ from Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving, Diana Butler Bass, © 2018, p. 199.

ARTWORK: Woman in Prayer, Myla Therzson